Clemens Delivers a Giampology

As reported by The Journal News, Roger Clemens has apologized to his family and fans for mistakes he made in his personal life. Clemens would not go into specifics of what he was apologizing for and maintained that he never used HGH or steroids.

"Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry," Clemens said in a statement issued by spokesman Patrick Dorton. "I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right."

If Clemens had used this approach in admitting to using performance enhancing drugs perhaps he wouldn't be in the situation that he is now, and his legend may have remained intact.

"I believe my personal life has nothing to do with the accusations of steroid and HGH use," Clemens said. "I have already made clear that I did not use them. Now I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a 15-year old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. This relationship has been twisted and distorted far beyond reality. It is just one of many, many accusations that are utterly false.

"I realize that many people want me to simply confess and apologize for the conduct that I have been accused of, but I cannot confess to, nor apologize for, things I did not do. I have apologized to my family for my mistakes, and having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private."

Rusty Hardin, Clemens' moron at law, said he and his client are reconsidering the anti-defamation lawsuit brought against Brian McNamee. Someone please tell Mr. Hardin that the damage is done.