Monday, September 28, 2009

The Sportsgasm

That is the term coined by the lovely Mrs. MM to describe the overlapping sports seasons. As in, "You're going to have a sportsgasm". With the Yankees heading to the post-season and the Giants off to a 3-0 start in the NFL, she is right as usual. Plus, incredibly, the NHL season opener is just a mere days away.

She first coined the phrase when the Yankees season began and I bounced between the early games and NY Rangers playoff hockey and Boston Celtics playoff basketball.

The sportsgasm is a great feeling, probably the equivalent of a woman eating chocolate. (Unlike women, however, I don't think the sportsgasm is better than sex.) And your partner may not enjoy your sportsgasm with you.

This is NOT Mrs. MM, but it could be during a football or hockey game.

There can be messy clean up with the sportsgasm. Chips, soda, beer, remote controls can often be sent flying in various directions. Actually, the remote control is usually reserved for big, bad moments, such as when the Rangers lost to the Devils in Game 5 of the 1994 conference finals. (Still haven't been able to totally fix that dent on the wall.)

Speaking of remote controls, the sportsgasm cannot be achieved without an excellent working remote control or two. You always need a supply of fresh batteries to be sure you're not stuck on one channel. (God forbid you have to get up and manually change the station.) You also should have a good working knowledge of the "last" and "favorite" buttons on the remote. They are essential in making rapid fire changes from one channel to another.

You should also be familiar with the SAP button, DVR controls, etc... no, not to use them, but how to shut them off if you accidentally hit one of them in the middle of a game.

So there you have it. Enjoy your sports and your sportsgasm. Oh and always practice safety... be sure to use a coaster.

1 comment:

  1. What about all those people that fake sportsgasms? That's a subject I know quite a bit about.