Week 1 - Chris Berman

It's Sunday night baseball with John Miller and Joe Morgan. No wait, it's a SF Giants game and it's Berman! He's taken over the broadcast of his favorite team. "Back back back..."
Quick, change to the NFL draft. Yikes, he's there too. Yikes? The mere thought of him affects your manhood. Here comes the bad Cosell impression.
Sportscenter, yes Sportscenter, that's where I can find refuge. Jose "Can you see" Cruz homered in the 3rd inning. Damn, foiled again.
Wait it's Sunday night, it's football season...let me get the highlights.
"He could...go...all...the...way". NOOooooooooooooooooooo.
NFL, College, the All-Star game, the draft, Sportscenter. He's everywhere. He can't be stopped, but you can contain him. Write your congressmen, the execs at Sportscenter, most of all, run..or change the dial.
Insert blood curdling scream here.
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